I am Hypnagogia Lemon. This is my sister Hypnopompia Lemon. As you can see we are twins. We look exactly the same. A lot of twins look the same but we really look the same. We even have all the same freckles. We even have all the same fingerprints. We even have all the same teeth and all the same eyelashes. But life made us different. It’s not like when something happens to her it happens to me too. Well. Not in the same exact way. 

Yeah I mean like we have two different bodies and everything. It’s interesting. I once went to a theme park and went on a rollercoaster and Gogi couldn’t come cus she was ill. So I went on on my own and even though there were spots for two people I was on my own and Gogi didn’t like feel all the things I was feeling.

We have a lot of different experiences. I went to a whole different country once and I was in a time zone that was totally different. When the sun was up for me it was night time for Pom. We were texting each other all day. ‘Sun’s just come up!’ ‘What! I’ve just got into bed!’. I mean time is gravity so I was even in a different gravity. I was upside down relative to Pom. 

We are relatives. We’re about as related as two people can get! 

Right side up relatives yeah. But that time you were upside down.

Yeah and I didn’t even go on that holiday. That was a different time from the rollercoaster. 

They did have rollercoasters though. I just didn’t go on. 

You like them though don’t you?

I haven’t ever been on one. But I probably would. You do don’t you?

It was pretty fun.

So I probably would too. We do tend to sort of experience things the same way. 

Yeah. I mean as much as we are totally capable of having different experiences most of our experiences tend to be more or less the same. As in we experience things the same. Even if the actual experience might be different. 

Look. We’re losing them already. They’re starting to get that glazed over look in their eyes. You can drift off if you want. It’s not like we need the company. That’s the thing about being a twin: it’s the least lonely way to experience the world. There isn’t a way you could be less lonely if you tried. Well maybe if you were one of a set of triplets or quadruplets. I heard about some octuplets once. I don’t know if anyone ever got any more than that out.

But that’s a good example. If Gogi got pregnant with eight little Gogis it’s not like I’d also suddenly become pregnant with eight little Poms. 

Aw! Little pomegranate seeds! 

I was picturing the same thing. I’d want to eat them though. I love pomegranates.

Yeah. She eats pomegranate seeds so much. Some people think that’s why we call her Pom. Until they find out her full name. 

Whereas you don’t like pomegranate seeds nearly as much. 

I do think they’re really nice. I just don’t eat them as often as you. 

Because you don’t like them that much.

No. I actually like them just as much as you do. Maybe more. It’s just they get stuck in my teeth and I don’t like that. 

Yeah that is really annoying. 

I’m trying to remember now what the first time I ever ate a pomegranate was. I remember the first time you ate one because you kept going on about how nice it was. You wouldn’t shut up about it for days after! 

It was when we went to that funfair. The woman was selling them from the little stand. They came in little glass jars and you had to eat them with cocktail sticks. I’ve still got the jar. 

Ohhh yeah… 

That was the first time you ate a pomegranate too. We were sharing. 

Yeah. Dad didn’t want us to have two in case we didn’t like it and wasted two. And we were holding up the queue.

Yeah. I guess I do remember. We hold up queues most of the time. I mean most of the time that we’re in a queue. 

Which isn’t very often because we don’t really like going shopping. We’re not very materialistic.

We go shopping all the time! We just got back from shopping. 

That was a food shop. That’s different. 

Well I did buy that scarf.

Well yeah. But if you go clothes shopping and at some point during the trip you also pop into the grocer’s and pick up a banana that doesn’t mean you went shopping for bananas. 

Good point! 

Thanks. Anyway we both hate bananas. 

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE SAME EYELASHES?

Hey! Finally showing some interest eh! Well technically we don’t really know. Like not for one hundred percent sure at any given moment. But we have checked before. Counted each individual one then double counted and triple counted. 

That took soooo long. 

And we had exactly the same number every time. First Pom did mine and then I did hers. Then we did each other’s again and then ourselves in the mirror. Same results. 

So we’re pretty confident. It stands to reason anyway. I mean everything else is the same so why not the eyelashes? We’ve never really counted our freckles but you can tell just by looking that they’re identical. Everything about us is identical. 

You couldn’t pay me to count my freckles. The eyelashes took long enough. 

Yes you could. If someone wanted to pay you a million squillion flowers you absolutely would count your freckles and you’d count mine too. There are a million more difficult things you’d for a million squillion flowers. I know because there are a million more difficult things I’d do for a million squillion flowers. 

Well some of us have more self-respect than that. 

If you really respected yourself you’d know easy money when you saw it.

They’re getting bored look. Pom this whole thing isn’t fair. You’re doing all the talking and not even asking them any questions!

Sorry. Are we being rude? Do you think we’re being rude?

So what about you? Would you ever count your eyelashes for a million flowers?

I DON’T HAVE ANY EYELASHES. 

Don’t you? 

That’s not really the point though.

How do you blink away dust and things?

You don’t need eyelashes to blink. It helps but you don’t need them. 

But I mean they trap little dust particles and dust mites and things. That’s the whole point of blinking. 

No it’s not. Blinking is to keep your eyes moist.

That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. 

Yeah but it’s true. 

Maybe they don’t have any eyes. 

That’s ridiculous. 

Gogi! You’re being so rude. They’re gonna stop talking to us. 

I’m not being rude. You’re being rude. Of course they’ve got eyes. 

I DON’T HAVE ANY EYES. 

Oh. Sorry. I’m embarrassing myself. 

Lord. Sorry about her. 

I’m embarrassing Pom too. 

We embarrass each other quite a lot. Ooh I just remembered a good story. Do you want to hear it? 

It’s about the time Pom embarrassed me more than anyone’s ever been embarrassed in their lives! 

She already knows what I’m about to say. 

Yes because it’s the first thing that springs to mind when discussing embarrassment. If you looked up ‘embarrassing’ in a dictionary you’d see a little summary of this story. It’s basically a traumatic memory. 

It was embarrassing for me too. I mean maybe even more embarrassing for you than for me. I mean the other way around. 

It was not! 

Just tell the story. 

I don’t want too. It’s too embarrassing. 

Can I tell it?

Go on then…

We were walking Terrence Boulevard in the park –

Terrence Boulevard’s our dog. 

– yeah – we were talking Terrence Boulevard in the park one day. I remember it was a Moonsday – 

Yeah a Moonsday after school.

– a Moonsday after school – this was about five years ago – and we were walking Terrence Boulevard in the park – 

The dog park. 

– it wasn’t the dog park it was the other park – 

Was it?

Are you going to let me tell the story?! 

Well only if you get it right! 

I am getting it right. You’re the one with the rubbish memory!

That’s not how I remember it. 

Exactly. Anyway. We were out walking Terrence Boulevard in the park and it was a Moonsday after school so all the kids were out of class. Excited playing running around all over the place. I remember it was a really lovely afternoon. The sun was out. The flowers were in bloom and the kids were running around all over the place playing and laughing like kids do. And we were walking around – we had just stopped for some ice cream – and we were walking around minding our own business and eating our ice cream cones – 

– we both got strawberry – 

And we were walking and talking about the sky and how pretty it looked when the weirdest thing happened. This purple-gold-flecked pigeon flew straight over – 

No! No! You’re telling it all wrong! 

What! What do you mean? 

You’re forgetting the most important part! 

What am I forgetting? 

The part about Nester Churchfield. 

Ohhh… yeah. Okay. Okay let me start over. 

No! You had your chance. I’m telling it. 

Maybe I’m the one with the rubbish memory? 

Yeah. Maybe. Anyway I was walking around and I was licking my ice cream – we both got strawberry – and because it was so sunny the two of us both had our dark glasses on. I was licking my ice cream but I couldn’t really see the colour so well. My dark glasses are blue tinted so it was making the strawberry ice cream which is normally pink look sort of more of a purpley red colour.

Yeah. And my dark glasses are yellow tinted so it was making the pink look more of a kind of orangey red colour. 

Yeah! And the sky was so blue that to me it looked almost too blue. Like it was almost hurting my eyes with how rich of a blue it looked. 

Yeah. It sort of hurt your eyes for some reason. 

It was so weird! It was like I was seeing the true blue. The ultimate blue that’s inside every other blue in the whole entire world. The blue that all the other blues remind you of. And I was getting so freaked out by it that I had to just shut my eyes and lick my ice cream blind. 

Terrence Boulevard was more walking us at that point. 

That’s right. Because Pom had her eyes closed too but that was for a whole different reason.

WAS IT BECAUSE OF NESTER CHURCHFIELD? 

What? Hahahahaha! 

That’s funny! Hahahahaha!

That’s actually so funny. Hahahahaha! Because you don’t know him but if you did you’d know that anyone would have to be crazy to ever not want to look at Nester Churchfield. 

I can’t think of a single reason why anyone wouldn’t want to look at him. You’d have to be crazy. 

Exactly. No so the reason I had my eyes closed was because I was wearing my yellow tinted dark glasses and it was making my strawberry ice cream look more of a sort of orangey red colour. 

You said that already. 

Yeah. And looking at the strawberry ice cream and seeing it look more of a sort of orangey red colour just made me start to think maybe it was orangey red flavour – I mean orange flavour – like the changing in the colours was tricking my brain into changing between the flavours too. Going back and forth. I’d take one lick and it’d seem more strawberry-y then I’d take another lick and it’d be all orangey. And if there’s one thing I really can’t stand it’s orange flavoured ice cream! So I shut my eyes to try to make the taste go back to normal again. 

Yeah. The thing is that because we both had our eyes shut –

– even though it was for different reasons – 

– we had the same experience –

– we could hardly see where we were going! And because Terrence Boulevard was only a puppy then –

– we’d just got him that summer –

– he was really energetic. And seeing all the kids running around playing and getting really excited was making him even more energetic. He was barking and yipping and making all these little squeaking noises – oh he was so adorable then! 

He still is! 

Actually where is he? You would love him. Everyone does. Terrence! Terrence Boulevard! Terrence you want to meet our new friendy wendy! Woo-ooh Terrence!

Shh! I think he’s having a nap.

Oh bless him!

So we were walking – but Terrence was only a puppy and he had so much energy and we had our eyes shut so it was almost more like he was walking us at that point – 

– and suddenly I heard this noise like a twig snapping really loudly and then some screaming! 

And I heard this sound like a screeching sort of howling sound of a dog! And then someone was yelling ‘HO! HO! HO!’ over and over again like that. 

So we both opened our eyes and we saw that naughty little Terrence Boulevard had ripped his leash straight out of the collar and gone bounding off yapping away heading straight for the little duck pond!

And the duck pond was in between the path we were walking –

– under the yellow cherry blossoms – 

– beautiful that time of year – 

– and the kid’s playground – 

– where the kids were playing – 

– and like I barely had time to react at all before I realised who it was that was making the screeching sound – 

– and I barely had time to react before I realised who it was that was yelling ‘HO! HO! HO!’ over and over again like that – 

– and we both realised that actually on the duck pond there was a little old man and his grandson and they were trying to sail a little remote control sailboat on the water – 

– the wind was right for it – 

– and the old man was yelling ‘HO! HO! HO!’ because he was trying to get his grandson’s attention – 

– because the sailboat was falling out of control – 

– just turning and turning about in the water – 

– because the little boy had dropped the remote – 

– and he was making this high-pitched screeching sound – 

– because he was crying – 

– because Terrence Boulevard was running straight like the wind straight towards him with his jaws wide open slobbering and raving and looking for all the world like he was about to eat the little kid – 

– even though he was only a puppy – 

– he was very energetic – 

– nowadays he just naps all day – 

– and the boy was crying and screaming and honestly looking almost like he was right about to wet himself –

– and meanwhile Gogi and I were over here gawking and waving and trying to get Terrence Boulevard’s attention – 

– without dropping our ice creams – 

– and shouting and calling after him and trying not to look like a pair of raving lunatics when all of a sudden there’s a tap on my shoulder and I ignore it and then there’s another tap and I ignore it again –

– and then there’s a tap on my shoulder and I turn around and who do you think I see?

Nester. Churchfield. 

The one and only. 

He was out walking his dog too – 

– Felipe – 

No Felipe was the Pomeranian. Nester was walking the Chow Chow. 

Oh right – I don’t know what they called the Chow Chow – anyway Nester Churchfield is right there and he’s walking his dog and like as you can imagine part of me is just thinking ‘oh my Lord it’s Nester Churchfield and he is speaking to me and he just touched my shoulder’ – 

– he touched mine too! 

– ‘and he just touched Pom’s shoulder’– 

– and meanwhile this other part of me is thinking ‘oh my Lord – my beautiful new dog Terrence Boulevard is about ten seconds away from having this adorable little kid for dinner –

– right in front of his grandad! 

– and basically every single person in the park is now staring at us –

– and how in the absolute world am I ever going to live this down for as long as I live?

– and then right at that moment this purple-gold-flecked pigeon flew straight over in a kind of beeline straight towards us! 

– and I had about one second to think about what I was doing – 

– that’s always your excuse! 

– it happened really quickly – 

– really quickly – 

– flew straight at us – 

– and Nester Churchfield just looks at me and he goes –

– unbelievable –

– ‘Excuse me’ –

– ‘isn’t that your dog???’ 

– and I just laughed and laughed –

– it was all we could think to do –

– you know when it just comes over you like that –

– and you just sort of like –

– freeze –

– and so we’re standing there and we’re laughing and we’re staring at each other and Nester Churchfield is staring at us and Terrence Boulevard is barking and barking and the kid is crying and crying and the old man won’t stop shouting –

– and then right at that exact moment the purple-gold-flecked pigeon flew straight over and it landed and it looked at us and it coughed at me and then it shut its eyes and it fell over and died right there on my ice cream! 

It was a really big one too. 

It was a really big one! 

Kicked the bucket right in front of me. Right on the scoop.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed in my life. 

Me neither!

And just imagine how Nester felt.

Ah…

So anyway. There you go. That’s just one example of how embarrassing things can get. 

I mean when you’re a twin people sort of look at you funny already. I guess people sort of go like ‘what? Huh? That person’s there twice! There’s two of them!’. But what they don’t realise is that we’re actually just two different people.

Two different people who are exactly the same in every way. 

Exactly. But we still have different experiences. It isn’t like we experience everything in the exact same way all the time every single time. 

That pigeon didn’t pop its clogs on both our ice creams. Only Pom’s. 

Yeah. I don’t like that example so much.

Me neither. But we do always remember it.

Yeah.

Some of us better than others.

Oh stop it!

Sorry.

It’s okay.

Sometimes I do wonder you know.

What?

You know. Where it went.

Where what went?

The pigeon.

You wonder where the pigeon went?

Yeah.

It didn’t go anywhere. It died on your ice cream.

I know it died. That’s not what I’m saying.

Oh. Well what are you saying?

…I’m saying nothing I guess. I don’t know. Anyway it’s a good story. Funny. Don’t you think? 

YES. IT WAS FUNNY. 

THANK YOU FOR THE STORY. 

Sure. Don’t mention it.

Any time!

Yeah.

Hey. So. Um… you don’t do you?

WHAT?

You don’t know?

I DON’T KNOW WHAT?

Where the pigeon went. Where it really went. After it went into Pom’s ice cream. You know. Like. Metaphorically speaking.

You mean ‘metaphysically’.

Right. Metaphysically speaking. You know?

Like ‘where did its soul go’?

Yeah. Where did its soul go? The pigeon. You don’t know do you?

OH I SEE.

YES.

Yes?

What? You do know?

Seriously??

WAIT. NO.

What?

What? What do you mean? Do you know or not??

Yes? No??

NO. SORRY.

WHAT I MEANT WAS: ‘YES. HYPNAGOGIA WAS CORRECT.

I DON’T KNOW WHERE THE PURPLE-GOLD-FLECKED PIGEON’S SOUL WENT AFTER IT DIED ONTOP OF HYPNOPOMPIA’S STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM.‘

Ohh.

Right. Well that makes sense obviously.

Of course. I mean it’s okay. I didn’t really expect…

Yeah it’s totally okay.

SORRY.

No no. Don’t worry about it.

It’s totally fine.

Yeah I mean I don’t know either right?

Yeah. Pom definitely doesn’t know!

And Gogi definitely doesn’t know.

Right. So you know. No one knows. No one knows.

But that’s okay.

Yeah. That’s okay. And it was still a good story.

Yeah.

Yeah.

YEAH.

Well…

Well…

I already know what you’re gonna say.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay. You go –

You go –

Okay – same time?

– same time –

Okay –

Okay –

Three – two –

‘Not –

– for the pigeon –

– it wasn’t!’

Hahahaha!

Hahahaha!

HAHAHAHAHA